Emotional Control
by courageousfire
Summary: Things at the Titans Tower have been surprisingly calm. So why can't Raven seem to control her powers, or emotions? Is this all due to her father, or is there something inside her that she's not willing to admit? (Rated T for darkness and a sexual scene in a chapter)
1. Unwanted Visions

The silence in the dark room was almost overwhelming. The light illuminating from the full moon reflected off of the clock beside Raven's bed. She had been meditating for a couple hours now, in complete quiet, uninterrupted; something was off. Beast Boy had never left her alone for so long before. Oh, that's right, he's with Terra. Raven felt a familiar sinking feeling in her chest and panicked as the books on her shelf flew open unexpectedly.

"Control: you need to keep control," Raven muttered under her shallow breath. Her magic had been uncontrollable lately and she had no clue why. Life in the tower was peaceful since the defeat of the Brotherhood and there were not many who challenged the Titans, except the occasional appearance from Dr. Light and Cinderblock. And her emotions should not be as powerful as they were before she destroyed Trigon, right?

While regaining her composure, Raven closed her dark blue eyes and began to chant the words she found the most calming. After a few moments, she was once again serene and focused on her home. Before she could envision Azarath, she couldn't help but picture Beast Boy in the darkness her closed eyelids provided. She thought nothing of the smile her face produced until she witnessed him embracing Terra. Her books turned again and the clock turned time even faster. Her eyes took the form of her father's and the jewel on her forehead glowed bright red. Raven felt her mind desperately try to evade an ever so familiar voice. But it was no use.

"You have walked among the pathetic for far too long it seems."

"No, that's impossible. How are you-?"

"Humans have done nothing but cause you unrelenting pain and yet you choose to continue to protect them. The more you walk on the Earth, the closer you become to a tragic end. Even before your birth you have been destined to be alone."

"No, I have friends who will stand by my side."

"Yes, but for how long? Nothing lasts forever. Open your eyes my child." Hesitant, Raven slowly opened her eyes to find herself surrounded by red flames. As she reached out a hand to feel the fire, she shuddered from its cold touch and sensed a sudden pain in her chest. She placed her hands over her heart to discover it was completely frozen over. She looked up to see the flames engulf her. She shielded herself from the fire with her frostbitten hands.

Opening her eyes once again, the setting before her had changed to Jump City with Beast Boy holding out his hand to help Raven off her knees. Taking his hand, she felt immediate relief as her body began to thaw at his touch. His smile seemed to dangerously warm her heart even faster.

"This is what you dream of, is it not?" Beast Boys smile turned demonic as the voice spoke, "This boy that is controlling your every emotion."

His eyes turned red as he dug his nails into Raven's hand until it drew blood. He forced her back down to the ground. In shock, Raven glanced down at the blood pouring down her hand. The blood held no color or scent and seemed to resemble tears.

"No matter how many times he cuts you down, you don't bleed. You never feel any different towards him. He cuts you, then heals you, then cuts you again in an endless cycle."

"He doesn't hurt me. He never would," Raven replied wiping the liquid from her eyes. But wasn't it just on her hand?

"Maybe not intentionally, but he controls you more than I thought imaginable." Before Raven stood Beast Boy, a sigh of relief escaped her mouth before she noticed the same liquid escaping his eyes. Suddenly, the liquid poured from her eyes again. It seemed to mimic the patterns of the liquid running down his face. As the flow of the water grew on his green cheeks, the liquid escaped from her eyes twice as quickly. When she approached, a small statue lay in front of them that was the resting place for red lilies. The red reflected into Raven's eyes as she felt four demonic eyes grow. She held her head to try to shake away the anger, but it was no use. The anger lingered while the statue began to move. It awoke and fell into Beast Boy's arms. Raven's anger grew as she recognized the blonde figure. She fought to maintain control, but the evil inside her was too strong. When she looked upon Terra again, she was on the floor, motionless.

Looking down at her hands, the wound opened once again with blood seeping through. She tried to heal herself, but found it impossible. No matter how much she closed the cut, it just unraveled itself. It was too painful to ignore. Glancing back at the green boy next to her, Raven noted his emerald eyes were holding back tears.

"All you ever do is hurt the ones around you. In return, you only end up hurting yourself." Soon, the vision of Beast Boy turned into all the Titans. Her friends looked down on her with disappointment and turned their backs to her. She reached for someone, anyone, but no one answered her prayers. "No matter what they say, you will always be alone. No one will ever understand your power; not even the monks of Azarath could. Do you remember why you had to leave? You put them in danger, and that's all you will ever do. You wonder why your powers are uncontrollable. When was the last time you checked on your emotions?"

Raven looked up in disbelief. But I'm not alone. He said-

"He lied, my child." Noticing the disbelief on her face, he added, "He is afraid of you. They all are. They fear the darkness in your heart and magic."

"No, go away! I destroyed you! You shouldn't be alive!"

"You're right. I'm not alive, not yet. I said you would be my portal and I meant it. However, you misunderstood. It will not be your body that will provide me with a way to be in your precious world. It will be your emotions that will destroy the world… and you." Raven looked down at a city burning alive with the bodies of her friends on the ash-filled ground. She floated down to them and noticed Robin reached his hand towards her in a plead for help. She ignored him with an apathetic smirk and exchanged looks with a helpless Beast Boy. Her smile grew wider while she raised her hand as dark magic circled around it. Her four eyes danced in pleasure as she heard him scream in agony.


	2. Returning Signs

Raven slowly awoke as she regained control of her body. As her eyes focused themselves, she noticed she was in Beast Boy's arms. Glancing up at his face, Raven stared into his determined eyes. He didn't look back at her. She decided he must not have seen her wake up. Gazing at the wall behind Beast Boy, she noticed it was speeding by at an alarming rate. Finally, she had the whole picture. She was being carried by Beast Boy, a running Beast Boy. Gripping on to his arms to hold on, Raven closed her eyes. Why was he running so fast? For some reason he wouldn't stop and kept raising his speed as he weaved through the corridors. Raven looked behind the green boy once again and tightened her hold on him. Where is he even going?

As if to answer her question, Beast Boy suddenly came to a halt.

"Whoa, slow down BB. What's the matter?" Raven tried to look at the body that made the remark, but Beast Boy's tight grip made it nearly impossible to move.

"It's Raven, I found her in her room, and she wasn't moving and-"

"Calm down. What's wrong with Raven?"

"Nothing, I'm fine," she responded. In shock, Beast Boy dropped her and pulled away dramatically. As Raven landed on the floor, she swore she felt her eyes split in four for a split second but no one else seemed to notice. She unconsciously pulled her hood down lower as she rose from the ground and gave Beast Boy a dark look. His apology was in his nervous chuckle.

"If you are truly feeling the alright, then why were you in the Beast Boy's arms?" Starfire asked as she poked her head out from the fridge. Raven remained silent, looking to Beast Boy for answers. Everyone followed her lead and interrogated the Changeling with their unmoving eyes.

"What was I supposed to do? You were on the floor and you weren't moving!" he replied defensively.

"A better question is what were you doing in _my_ room?" Raven questioned angrily while warning him with a death glare.

"Well, you see, uh, about that. I knocked on your door to see if you wanted to play some stankball. But then you didn't answer, so then I got worried-"

"Yeah, because she's never really ignored you before," Cyborg chimed in teasingly. After lowering his head in annoyance, Beast Boy continued.

"Yeah but her eyes were _glowing_." At that everyone, turned their attention to Raven.

"Raven? Is everything-" Before Robin could finish his question, the alarm rang throughout the Tower. "Titans, go!"

Letting out a sigh of relief, Raven followed her friends out of the living room but was stopped in the doorway.

"Don't think this conversation is over. I still want answers," Beast Boy demanded. Raven looked away so their eyes wouldn't meet.

"I don't have any," Raven muttered. Just as Beast Boy opened his mouth to say something, Raven brushed him aside and wearily floated to the rest of the team. When she knew she was out of his sight, the half-demon rested her body on the wall beside her. She felt so weak; it was almost as if her energy was being devoured. Raven slid down the wall and sat on the floor. What was happening to her?

Raven felt a pair of arms circle around her body and lift her from the cold ground. This time it was Robin who held her. She looked quizzing at the young hero and witnessed all her friends approach.

"Friend Raven, are you, okay?" Starfire asked with worry dancing in her emerald eyes. All the Titans waited for an answer, but she did not give one. Raven just avoided eye contact and attempted to lift herself from Robin's hold.

"Don't worry, go ahead without me. I'll catch up soon."

"Uh, Raven, we already did," Beast Boy replied. In confusion, Raven looked to Robin.

"Well, we waited for you and Beast Boy and when he said that you weren't going, we-"

"He _what_?" Raven asked, glaring down the green boy who rubbed his neck in embarrassment.

"You looked like you were having trouble," he explained nervously. Raven rolled her eyes and noticed something behind them. No, it couldn't be.

"Raven!" the Titans shouted as she lowered herself to the ground once again.

"How long have I been here?" Raven asked faintly.

"You've been sitting here for a couple of hours. We thought you were just meditating or something, _until-_"Cyborg managed to cut himself off and looked solemnly to the ground.

"Until, what? I didn't hurt anyone did I?"

"No, no, it's nothing like that. It's just that, well-"

"Well, what?"

"You said some things."

"Like what?" Raven asked, growing annoyed and weary with Beast Boy's uncertainty. "What did I say?" Beast Boy lowered his head. It was obvious he couldn't bring himself to repeat the words that came out of her mouth. No one did; until Robin spoke up.

"You said you wanted to _kill_."

"What?" Raven asked in disbelief. She looked down at her hand to see it glowing with a familiar sign. The doors around her swung open and the single vase across from her shattered. Everyone seemed to jump except Robin who carried a questioning expression on his face. Before he could investigate the mark, Raven drew her hand closer to her chest.

"Raven?" Beast Boy's voice echoed through her head. It held concern and a hint of curiosity. Raven glanced up from the secular symbol to find Robin's hand reaching for her while the others huddled around. In mass panic, Raven tried to lift herself up but lacked the energy to even move. After noting everyone's worried faces, she melted through the floor and ended up in her room.

Without the unbreakable glares, she was able to slowly stand with the support of her small desk. Raven carefully progressed to her bookshelf. Before she could reach it, she tripped and her face planted into the ground. Despite this, she managed to pull herself to the books and searched frantically for the one she was looking for.

As she ran her fingers across the spine of each book, Raven skimmed through each title in hopes of finding the right one. _Spells of the Dark, Ancient Legends, The History of Azarath, Earth Culture, Batman: Return of the Legend, Guide to Meditation, Dark Magic and Control: Volumes I and II. _Raven drew back in worry. It wasn't there. No, it had to be here. Where had she put it? Before she could remember, a chilling voice announced itself from the corner of her room.

"Looking for this?" Raven watched in horror as the figure stepped into the light.

"Slade?"

"Hello, Raven. Miss me?" In the only response she knew, Raven let her dark magic take form.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Slade said, holding out a book that read _The Prophecy_.

"How did you-"

"It's not really important is it? As it stands now, you want it and I have it," he explained, holding the book out of her reach.

"What do you want?" Raven asked skeptically as she tried to sit up. She watched as Slade crouched in front of her and leaned in close to get his message across.

"Revenge."

"Revenge? What did I ever do to-"

"Not you, my dear." Slade glanced down at the book in his hands.

"But he's-"

"Don't pretend he hasn't come to you in dreams or visions. You can't just wish him to be gone. He's still there, he always will be," he declared as he turned his back to Raven and flipped through the book.

"He's visited you, too. Hasn't he?" Raven questioned. Slade closed the tome and chuckled softly.

"Nothing gets by you, my dear. Well, what's it going to be?" Slade asked. Noticing her hesitance, he added, "I know more. There are ruins, old writings, and prophecies I can guarantee you've never even heard before. I can take you. So, do we have a deal?"

Before Raven could reply, a knock echoed throughout her dark room, making them both turn their heads to the door. After some contemplation, Raven nodded and said, "We should go."

The calls from the Titans on the other side fell upon deaf ears.


End file.
